


Roman Holiday

by lacunas



Series: Toy Soldiers [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-17
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-04-21 03:38:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4813508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lacunas/pseuds/lacunas





	Roman Holiday

_we're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. only through our love and friendship can we create for a moment the illusion that we're not alone._

_-_ orson welles

 

Rian doesn't believe in love at first sight, or second sight, or even fourth or fifth sight. In fact, Rian is pretty sure he doesn't believe in love at all. The idea of a soulmate, of a person out there who you have an immediate connection with the very second you meet them; a connection so magnetic that you can't resist it's pull -- the whole this is so ridiculous to him. He wasn't born without the ability to love but more conditioned towards it; growing more and more cynical as each run-in with it leaves him with a bitter taste in his mouth. It reminds him of the time he's six and taken a sip of his father's beer because he says it's hoppy and Rian has this fascination with the Easter bunny. But the boy soon discovers there are two different kinds of hoppy -- that's what it tastes like.

The first time love fails him, he's four. Her name is Anabelle Stevens and she's in his pre-school class. She has this bright red hair that ripples like fire and Rian can't help but be mesmerized by it. Unfortunately for him she has the temperament that goes along with it, constantly punching him. His mother says it's because she likes him so Rian's logic is to pull her hair the next time she hits him which lands him in time out in the corner. But the way she taunts him from the craft table only has him more convinced that they're meant to be so one day his mother invites Anabelle and Mrs. Stevens over for a play date. Just like in all of his favorite Disney movies, he's determined to be Prince Charming. His mother dresses him up and attempts to comb his unruly tangle of blonde hair and he looks so cute that the woman is smiling. But the second Anabelle walks in the door, she takes the flowers that Rian has so meticulously picked from the garden and crushes them under her pink jelly shoe. Rian is a glutton for punishment though and even when she moves away before kindergarten, his toddler heart still pines for her.

The second time love fails him, he's seven and convinced that Lizzie McGuire is the love of his life. Lizzie isn't Anabelle Stevens; Lizzie would never crush his flowers and his heart under the plastic heel of his shoe. No, Lizzie is too good for that. It's borderline obsessive the way he watches her show every day when he gets home from school; rushing through his homework so he can plop down on the couch and just enjoy. But when he gets in trouble at school for stealing a classmate's novelty Lizzie lunchbox, no one believes him that he was just borrowing it so he could show his mother what he wants for his birthday. He gets grounded from the tv for two months and in that time Lizzie goes off the air. Rian writes letters asking her where she went but they go unanswered and his father tells him how she's not a real person, so Rian gives up on love once more.

The third time love fails him, he's ten. His mother hasn't been well for the past year, he knows it even before his parents sit him down to have a big talk. She's going to get a wig, she says, but it's okay because she's always wanted longer hair but never had the time to take care of it. Everything is just so positive and upbeat and she's going to be okay that even Rian is convinced. The boy is confused when she comes back from the doctor and feels sick for days; he thought doctors were supposed to fix you. But it's only for a couple of days and then she's back to being his mother, wearing her new bright head scarves when the wig starts irritating her scalp too much. She wants to spend more time with him and Rian doesn't understand the hurt look in her eyes when he says he'd rather go to his friend's house for the weekend. Because she's his mother and she's invincible and he believed her when she told him she'd always be there for him. It's not until he's standing graveside in his new suit that he really understands just what she meant when she said terminal cancer.

His father isn't prepared to raise a child on his own -- nor does he have the money to. He's relying on the money his wife still has left in her trust fund from when she was just a kid but it's much to his dismay when he finds that she's left a stipulation that that money is only to go towards Rian's education. They've never been close, Rian and his father. He'd only had a child to appease his wife so when he's suddenly strapped with a kid that he has to take care of on his own he's not sure how to handle it. He's always been a bit rough around the edges so after a year of trying and failing to handle the pressures of parenthood, Rian is shipped off to boarding school, fresh bruises hidden expertly under his mandated uniform. He's timid at first, has a hard time making friends, the richer kids who don't need trust funds and insurance money to be there making fun of the fact that his casual clothes are slightly worn out. It doesn't take long before the sweet boy he was as a child is lost and he's hardened just like his father.

By fourteen he's been through six roommates, none of them able to put up with his explosive temper and constant brooding. But he's good for the school soccer team and his trust fund cuts them a pretty check each year so they don't kick him out. They've got another one on the way this morning, Rian having chased the last one out finally with a really bad dosing of itching powder in his underwear drawer. The new kid hasn't even arrived yet and Rian is already thinking of ways that he can drive him away just like he has everyone else in his life. Little does he know that the boy with the mossy green eyes walking down the hall at a quick clip is going to change his life forever in more ways than one. But this isn't a love story because Rian doesn't believe in love.

 


End file.
